


Christmas Cheer

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Christmas, Crack, Gen, Tumblr Ask Box Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a fic based on a tumblr prompt: "a planet has turned kirk and bones into reindeer and spock has to use his brain b4 this evil Santa robot kidnaps them and use them as slaves"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Cheer

**Author's Note:**

> idk  
> this is ridiculous tbh it was only supposed to be a paragraph  
> whatever i hope you enjoy it

Spock stares tentatively at the reindeer in from of him. Jim-Reindeer is still trying to navigate his newly created reindeer body, wobbling precariously on unfamiliar legs. Spock thinks it best to take a step back. McCoy-Reindeer, on the other hand, is standing, stock still, looking as murderous as any reindeer with limited capacity for facial expression can presumably look.

Spock takes another step back. 

He’s deciding what the best course of action is when a tiny creature wearing clothing reminiscent of the elves of Earth’s traditional Christmas tales appear in a puff of smoke and proceeds to throw a decorative bauble aggressively at the ground. Spock registers the smell of some sort of incense and the panicked snuffling of his reindeer companions before the world goes dark.

When he awakes, Spock is in a darkened room, bound firmly to a chair with gold and silver tinsel and what appears to be an unlit strand of Christmas lights. The tinsel itches.

He’s gazing calmly around, wondering if perhaps he’s ingested some sort of hallucinogenic drug, when an android enters the small circle of light in which Spock currently resides. The android looks mostly human but for the tell tale darkened tint of his eyes. He has curly white hair and violently rosy cheeks and is dressed entirely in a red velvet suit. He does something behind Spock, and the lights flash on, illuminating the room around them.

Spock sees several hundred “elves” similar in appearance to the creature that kidnapped him earlier. He sees an enormous sack, bulging out with unknown contents. He also sees, to his dismay, Jim-Reindeer and McCoy-Reindeer, who are fastened into what appears to be a harness attached to a large, old-fashioned sleigh.

Spock very firmly does not feel hysteria, because Vulcans are beyond such things.

The android steps in Spock’s line of sight, blocking his view of the captain and doctor. He grins menacingly at Spock, gesturing broadly to the warehouse around them.

"Well, Mister Spock, what do you think of my work?"

Spock recognizes the question as a rhetorical one and deigns not to answer. The android seems pleased by this and moves to continue. Spock, though usually polite, finds that he is not particularly interested in what the android has to say to him. He stands abruptly, notes that tinsel is not a particularly effective means of restraint, and delivers a pinch to the neck of the android. Though not effective on all prototypes, it seems this android was constructed with significant replication of the human nervous system, which is fortunate for the android goes down immediately. Spock turns and is faced with what feels like hundred of little elf eyes staring at him. He sighs internally.

"Perhaps you can provide me with the antidote for my companions?"

The elves look at him dubiously for a moment before one of them shuffles forward and hands him a wrapped parcel. He thanks the elf before unwrapping the festive paper and finding two glowing red and green vials. Wading through the swarm of elves, he reaches Jim-Reindeer and McCoy-Reindeer, uncorking the vials and holding them up to their mouths. It is not a particularly sanitary affair, but by the time both the vials are empty Spock is facing two naked men bound to a sleigh. Jim almost immediately begins to laugh. McCoy’s face darkens and he opens his mouth. Before he can begin his tirade, Spock has his comm unit open. “Enterprise, three to beam up.” 

It is a tale told often in the rec rooms of the Enterprise, especially around the Christmas holidays, but no one really believes it’s true until one day several weeks later when Spock moves about the ship performing his duties as First Officer with several tiny, science-blue clad elves following close behind


End file.
